aardvark, here

Let the stories begin

Happy Sunday

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I have decided to change up my format.

For those who are still reading this blog after many years ( I began in 2008 ), I will be contacting you by email to see if you would be willing to write a paragraph about yourself.

No names needed. Just what animates you. I’d like to start each blog post off with something that is actually interesting, namely—YOU.

Second, I am revisiting my old blog, where many stories reside, and picking out a few for this blog. I have new readers who have never read these bits and pieces of my life, others’ lives, and life in specifics.

This story, “aardvark, here” comes from the early years around 2008.

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aardvark, here

2008

When podcasts first became vogue  new media, I began listening to Mignon Fogarty, aka Grammar Girl. I downloaded her podcasts from  iTunes. Everything about her business endeavor was hot:  five thousand or more hits a month on a user-friendly website, a book contract, and an appearance on Oprah.

That year, on and off,  I suffered from  insomnia, awaking  at 3:30 am.  Like a thoroughbred filly ready for the Kentucky Derby, I would bolt in a hot flash downstairs, make coffee, commune with the dog, and turn on my computer.

Out of boredom, I suppose, I began answering grammar questions on Mignon's website in the comments section.  I did this just for fun. In a way,  I felt akin to the Nighthawks,  the radiologists from India reading  x-rays for American hospital emergency room docs, while American radiologists slept.

One day, in March of that year, an  e-mail came into my box from Mignon herself. She liked my answers and my humor. Would I be interested in answering questions for her? Wow! Grammar Girl in my mailbox.

Sure, I said.

Judge Blah said, Are you going to get paid for your time?

I said, No. What else am I going to do at 3:30 am when I can’t sleep?

He shook his head. How bout correct your own papers? You always have a stack of them. You are a very busy person, running a business. I don’t know why you would do this.

Sounds fun, I answered.

Mignon gave me the password to her website and suggested that my code name be aardvark, a blue little creature she used in her grammar examples, along with a yellow snail named Squiggley

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May I give aardvark a personality when I answer questions? I asked.

No, she said. I am hoping to write a children's book and don't want your take on aardvark to prejudice my ideas.

Ok, I agreed.

So aardvark I became. My compatriot, Squiggley,  quit after a month. Answering a grammar question accurately takes time and sometimes, research.

I learned a lot about people that year. Know-it-alls, Meanies, Braggers, Idiots--they all submitted questions along with the Sincere, the Kind, and the Witty.

For one year, I answered questions. Here is a sample of my little buddy aardvark's work:

aardvark
7/14/2007 4:33:04 PM

Hi Paula,

As you know, the word apology can be a singular or plural noun, so aardvark would recommend the following advice:

If someone has apologized for one transgression, you would say, " I accept your apology," or "Apology accepted."

For those individuals (or creatures) who transgress more than once and want forgiveness with a multi-pronged apology, then I would use the plural of apology.

Squiggley, on occasion, has tracked goo into my den and has eaten small pieces of my geranium. So, when he says, " I am sorry for the mess I left in your den, as well as for the hole I left in your geranium," I would reply, " I accept your apologies."

Please accept my apology if this explanation doesn't clarify the issue for you! -----

I am not sure how many answers I provided, but during that time, my grammar improved.  Soon, after her book deal, her New York  publisher asked her  to change her website design. The comments section changed too, so I could not reply to an individual question. Aardvark lost interest and quit.

Yes, those days were fun.

But the nights were long.